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User blog:Araver/(Not) Showing one's age
Background: This post was prompted by yet-another situation where someone expressed disbelief when finding out my age. Title may or may not be misleading *shrug* Disclaimer: Don't follow bad habits others may acknowledge having in the past. It's not cool. Technically. So I was "mute as a swan" for a while (that is actually a poetic reference in my native language, for which I prefer a word-by-word translation). Until I was 4, bordering on 5 I think (or at least that's what others say). And by not being very talkative, I apparently, unknowingly, mislead a lot of people about my age who took me for a two year-old (not to mention scaring my parents). That and the fact I was rather thin built, though capable of walking (scars would beg to differ and make that an "almost"). I grew up fast according to others (normal if you ask me, since well, ego-centric point of view and all). Average height (5 feet 9 inches if the converter is of any use). By the time I was 14, I started to grow a goatee which I sported for a long time (and still do from time to time). And by doing so, I cheated my age again. Unwillingly (?) or not. This got me into trouble for a while. At least more times than not. I was able to buy cigarettes and drink earlier than some of my friends. That bit was fun (then), less fun for my lungs in the long-run (now). And I was likelier to get expelled too (e.g. while smoking outside premises for being a bad example for younger children - which incidentally were of the same age, but no point arguing with an angry teacher or God forbid, Head Master). In any case, I found adults more likely to speak to me because of that, so I rearranged all my habits around (sounds a bit like selling one's soul, but it's far easier than it sounds) just to be able to get into "higher" circles. Cheating age was fun. There were other side-effects (which are either off-topic or unwarranted by this discussion) By the time I reached my twenties, the habit of deliberately showing an older age got the best of me. I could control it less. I had created a monster I rarely could override. It lead to a pretty hard adaptation to the university and a few troubles not worth mentioning here. Long-story short, I backed off and chose another path (university) where I finally settled in better. And coincidentally (?) I was now supposed to be one year greater than the rest of my colleagues, which made the whole showing age problem less of a hidden problem. Suffice to say, that was easier to adapt to. And it earned me a couple of points whenever I could sneak people in clubs (even people older than me. Lol.) Had a lot of fun, still enjoyed all-nighters playing bridge with people of various ages along with ... all the rest an undergraduate does on campus. Then I got my degree and the fun ended: "Get a stable well-paid job. Get married. Get kids. Oh, you don't have those already. Poor you. You should get them while you still can." That's when fun ended as far as (not) showing my age. Hard to tell people why it's perfectly fine that I don't already have all that, since my age is NOT what they're reading. Hard to drop the act and the costume after you've worn it for a while. Harder even when your busting you way to a promotion. It cost me a few "pennies" to try to keep everything together. Dream job. Dream girl. Dream future. Not mutually exclusive. But parts sold separately. Fast-forward to a few choice, made it to a manager position around 27: my own team and budget (crisis budget but one hell of a team), my own department (de facto. de jure stumbled upon "Well, it says here you're kinda still young for our internal rules, so maybe next year..."), break of a very long engagement, discontinued PhD studies, no social life to speak of. I was able to put that costume to good use, professionally speaking. It earned me no points outside work though. And it was stubbornly glued on. Peak moment: I went with my team on an off-road kinda trip. Long-story short, we stopped at a mausoleum. Epic moment, they all got free entrance (Youth Visiting Day) ... except obviously for me, the last in line. So, I took my money out, gritting my teeth (for no apparent reason other than 4 people making fun of the moment) and still managed to ask, out of sheer curiosity, how is Youth defined and how may one proceed to apply for it. That person was unmoved by my casual remark (I threw a smile in, I swear) and told me "Under 35 of age. Here's your change!". "And what would you say my age is right now?". "Well, the beard makes me unsure but I'd say 37-38." "Great, now if I show you my driver's license would you give me my money back and something for each year extra?". Unfortunately she did not throw in anything extra. Just gave me my money back. Not even a smile. Those 10 years she added would have been worth something. Needless to say, the beard went away after we finished the EU R&D project we were running. Though I really did not find another solution: how to sound professional and get people convinced to do things your way, in a room full of Senior Researchers and General Managers, when you're only 27 and on a really tight budget. Unless you sport a beard and act like you've had it for a very long time. *shrug* Thing is, returning to my original spark for this post, it keeps happening in an online environment too. I think I jokingly hit the spot - I give an old age vibe in writing as well. I am being too serious about it (Age Multiplier +5). I don't get jokes that often (Age Multiplier +5). I should use smileys more (Age multiplier -6), make complete fool of my self (Age Multiplier -10) or post wth trrivl speling (Age Multiplier -8). Tips? Category:Blog posts